Hi and welcome to DWD. You've been through so much. Can I add my voice to Paula's about talking to your GP or seeing if there is a sexual abuse specialist counselling service near you?
Again, I agree print out your post or write it down and then you can just hand it over to the Dr/counsellor.

I know that it's really hard to do, but you've made such a giant leap by posting here today. You can keep the momentum going.