Hi Neo and welcome . Please don’t disappear from here, you’ve absolutely come to a good, non judgemental, friendly place. I know all about protracted recovery (as do many of us here) and how it feels like this is never going to change. But I promise you, as my psychiatrist once promised me, it WILL get better, it’s just a case of finding the right treatment/combination that works for you. And being here, talking to people who completely get it, will make a huge difference in your life.