Sweetheart, never underestimate how hard psychology is and I'm so glad you're giving yourself time to process. Have you talked over any of it with anyone?
You're awesome and well loved, but if turning you pink was the right thing to do for you and your journey then that's great, all I ever want any of the team to do is put their needs first. It's why we have a large mod team - so people can take a break if needed.. There'll always be a space for you if you change your mind

Can you miss the meeting tonight?