That sounds like a good plan, I'll try it out. As for today, the postives I found is that I spend time with my parents, my cats aren't scared because fireworks are forbidden here, and that I'm healthy.
I've spoken to my doctor before and have been to a therapist roughly a year ago. He told me that how I feel is just because "every teenager/young adult feels like that because it's in" and that I should be able to help myself since I got no major problems. Sounds cruel but happened.
Thank you all for your help though, its good to speak freely xx