Thanks Suzi, I did play today and it was stressful but fun. So I am glad I did.

I have a lot of thoughts running through my mind. Women, clothing and other things. I don't think its good to tell you all what it was because there is so much shame on those thoughts. That running away would be the least troublesome I would do. I had terrible thoughts of what I wanted to do to myself. But I am ok now so I am not so worried anymore.