Someone gave me a suggestion to post. And I found this thread and thought why not dust it off.
I thought I was doing a bit better. But I went to therapy today and went with public transport. And my stress went way up. I have been that way since I got home now.
I wanted to play my game. But I have noticed the same thing that happens everytime when I start to develop feelings for someone in a game. I feel it belong to them and not me. So I started playing but felt bad about playing her game so I stopped.
I even tried playing another game I stopped playing 3 years ago for the same reason but same result.
I keep going through this cycle. Untill I am stripped from everything. Games I like. Bands I like (because of the same reasons I never play the Doors anymore or the Cure).
I think I am on a path where I destroy everything in my life till the last thing to destroy is myself
I’m so sorry today was so difficult. Do you want to talk about what happened in therapy? Is there an easier way for you to travel to your appointments so you don’t have the stress of public transports?