In therapy and on other occasions I have been told I should speak up when I have something on my mind. When something is bothering me. But when ever I do there seems to be some kind of backlash of thing happening no matter what my mind is telling me the feelings I feel are real and true.

But at work I open up about things it does nothing or make things worse for me. I talk about what I feel and think about friendship here and it feels like people are defending themselfs. Explaining why they dont reply or hoe much they call each other. That was not the reason I opened up about these things. The only intension was to say I wanted a deeper connection to people. And I would have love to have had it with some of you since I see the beauty in everyone here.

But instead now I feel like I have accused you all of something and thats why it all got defensive. Never my intend. I only wanted to share my feelings. And thats something I dont think I can now.