Hi and welcome. I see a lot that you say that I can identify with - but as your wife. I have degenerative and chronic illness and I "get" so much of how she must be feeling. It really, really sucks when you can't do what you used to. I've had a huge decline in my mobility - and yes I've put off seeing people because I'm embarrassed or ashamed at using the mobility aids I've needed for a long time now.... It does make you question things, makes you want to shout and scream, feel angry that it's happening to you etc etc etc

However, that being said she does have to get some help. Counselling might be what is needed or medication, but that's not up to me to decide - I'm not a qualified medical professional... But you may not be helping doing everything for her - I have a mantra "use it before you lose it" which forces me to do stuff I can at the time. Will she listen to your daughter? Could she help persuade her - or could you call her GP and tell them how things really are and see if they could do a "wellness call" or something similar and see if they can steer the conversation in the right way?