Quote Originally Posted by Paula View Post
Hi and welcome. I’m another one who can identify with your wife. I’m disabled with multiple health issues, and I struggle with significant mental health issues - which are under control at the moment but can start from something as simple as starting a new medication for something unrelated to MH.

My husband is also working from home at the moment and it’s become very easy for both of us to let him do a lot more for me and around the house. It’s quicker, involves less pain for me and he likes looking after me. And I get that covid has made it easier to make excuses why not to do things - I still haven’t been to the supermarket, or even picked up my own meds, as I’m really anxious about that. In fact, my only trips out of the house in the last month have been to the hospital.

But you’re right, this isn’t healthy for your wife, or for you and your daughter. And it sounds like she needs help that you can’t provide - from her GP or a mental health professional. Is she still in pain with her hip and ankle and, if so, (and I know this sounds weird) is it worse when she’s particularly struggling with her mental health? That’s something I’ve noticed happens a lot to me. Does your GP surgery offer something like a wellness check with the practice nurse? Perhaps that would be a gentle way to encourage her to start talking, especially if you contact the surgery in advance to let them know your particular concerns.

Also, what sort of support do you have? Caring from someone with multiple health conditions is hard physically and mentally. Maybe you could think about accessing support?

Hi, thanks for the post and welcome,

You sound just like us! Although my wife has managed trips out. We've been away twice - one of those as a family and we've also been out and about doing other things.

Yes - I agree she needs help that between myself and my daughter we simply can't provide. She's in some pain with the hip and ankle but this is manageable. This is what is confusing, she can't walk independently anymore, but can walk holding onto me and with her (sparkly) stick in her right hand. She can also walk using her walker. Her preferred method is to hold onto me if in public meeting people we know. If we're elsewhere in the country she doesn't care.

Yes, I would say to a point her pain is a little worse when she's struggling with her mental health but not hugely.

It's looking like the GP is the next port of call.

I have no "community" support. With regard to the physical side I'm fine. But it is hard mentally, hence why I'm on here
She would hate the idea of anyone coming into our home to help. Most of the day she needs no physical intervention from myself. One thing she would love to have is a cleaner again as this aspect of the house would just be taken care of. However she's put covid in the way again. Despite me saying we'll stipulate they have to wear a mask and of course they are using cleaning products so it's unlikely they will spread the virus via surface contact.
I have very supportive neighbours. In fact that has been a huge factor in her recovery I would say. It means she's got a lot of stealth contact time over the years.