Quote Originally Posted by Suzi View Post
Hi and welcome. I see a lot that you say that I can identify with - but as your wife. I have degenerative and chronic illness and I "get" so much of how she must be feeling. It really, really sucks when you can't do what you used to. I've had a huge decline in my mobility - and yes I've put off seeing people because I'm embarrassed or ashamed at using the mobility aids I've needed for a long time now.... It does make you question things, makes you want to shout and scream, feel angry that it's happening to you etc etc etc

However, that being said she does have to get some help. Counselling might be what is needed or medication, but that's not up to me to decide - I'm not a qualified medical professional... But you may not be helping doing everything for her - I have a mantra "use it before you lose it" which forces me to do stuff I can at the time. Will she listen to your daughter? Could she help persuade her - or could you call her GP and tell them how things really are and see if they could do a "wellness call" or something similar and see if they can steer the conversation in the right way?
Hi, thanks for the reply. I like the "use it before you lose it" mantra. I think I will steal that if I may.

I agree - doing all that I do for her might be actually be counter productive. she has said sometimes that I moither (smother) her. I do this to show my love, because she does like to be doted upon, but then can push away.

She might listen to our daughter, but my daughter can also get fiery and keep pressing until everything descends into a fight. I feel she's a bit too immature still to handle this kind of thing.

I could call the GP, so long as they didn't mention that I have been in contact that might work as I assume they would contact her on her mobile and it's very unlikely she would tell me that they had called.

I also have trouble putting myself in ashamed embarrassed position you describe. I'm very extrovert and nothing phases me. Do you have moments when you've done a particular activity a few times and then just suddenly can't face it again? Can you put a finger on why this is?

Thanks, please keep the responses coming.