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She’s actually a popular person, she has some good friends who she has a massive laugh with, we get on with our surrounding neighbours really well and are often round each other's houses on a weekly basis. She’s funny and witty and tells a really good yarn.

My daughter has noticed that she can do more stuff (physically) when I’m not around to help her. Sometimes I have to work away and she manages better. Now I’m at home a lot more due to lock down, I wonder if it’s not actually good for her. It’s possibly allowing her to wallow. There is potential for me to go into the office.

My wife is the type of person to turn inward and not talk about a problem, she goes quiet and if you ask what’s wrong you don’t get a response. When she is riding high and more talkative about her issues she will say things like “I’ve never felt so disabled”, “I hate everything”, “I’m jealous of everyone”, “I’m angry at everyone”. She has had suicidal thoughts in the past.

She won’t go and seek professional help. She's not on any medication and she has strong reactions to drugs, I wouldn't actually want her to take anything. When she does have a bout of depression or anxiety she has a huge flood of cortisol. As she can't exercise this off she has to sleep it off, so it takes her out for about 24hrs.

When she is depressed she often takes it out on me, I’ll sometimes cry in private or in front of her. She does apologise later and does it again. I've lost count the amount of times this has happened.

My main reason for reaching out for help is that we seem to be on a general downward trend and we’re about to hit winter which I know is always worse mood-wise for her than summer - I’m slightly dreading it. See loves sitting in the sun on our decking and watching nature. The other reason is that I’m beginning to question my own happiness and if it’s all worth it. Part of me loves part of her still.

I would really like her to go and seek some professional help for her depression / anxiety. But I have no idea how to get her to. If I talk to her about it at the right time it will start an argument ergo there seems to be no right time. I sometimes feel that she does want to become like Mrs Haversham in Great Expectations.

As I mentioned she more independent when I'm not around as she has to get on with it. I sometimes wonder if I should just leave...

I’ve lived this for 6 years now, it robbed our teenage daughter of her mother in those tender growing-up years.