Building a new life

[Strugglingmum]

I'm sorry things are so tough at the moment. Having meaningful conversations can be difficult when kids are around, even though mine are all adults its still difficult. Sending hugs and understanding

[Paula]

Erm no. It’s ok to tell the kids that you’re not feeling well, you need to rest and they can go for a walk without you. It won’t hurt them to know you can’t always be everything for them, that you sometimes need to put yourself first, and that you won’t always be able to smile. It won’t hurt J to know that, too

Does it normally take a few days for the meds to catch up when you haven’t had them?

[Jaquaia]

I've never been without the methotrexate for longer than a week so it never normally affects me, but then I was on a higher dose too, so I'm wondering if some of the fatigue and stiffness is due to me being on a lower dose. I've never skipped the vortioxetine before so it's possible that is levelling out in my system and is contributing to struggling.

I came upstairs to change my book and had to sit down and rest as even just doing that was exhausting.

[Suzi]

Hunni, I'm actually really cross that you felt you had to pretend to be OK when you're in pain, exhausted and dealing with no meds etc Sweetheart it's actually much healthier for the kids as well as you to actually say "I'm sore and tired today. Let me sit for a while and then we can xyz" And there is no way that you should have done all the hoovering and changing a litter tray - where was J when that was happening? What about getting the kids to help?

It's tough, but if you don't show them that sometimes things aren't always rosey and picture perfect then they won't learn that it's ok not to be ok itms? I wish I could give you a massive hug right now....

[Jaquaia]

J was at work and the kids are with Cruella until Thursday. J actually told me to rest and was annoyed with me for doing all that. I suppose it's the same as at my parents, I feel like I need to do all that I do as I can't contribute financially.

[Stella180]

You do know that J asked you to move in because he loves and wants you there with him. Just being there is more than enough. Don’t feel like you have to earn your place there cos you do that by just being you.

[Suzi]

But you're there as his lover and the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with! You're not there as the cook, the cleaner, the teacher, the bottlewasher, etc etc etc It's more than ok for you to leave the hoovering or something or buy in things. You are amazing and you are superwoman, but love you contribute far more than the worth of money....... You're his lobster (and yes I've just realised you probably don't get the reference because you're either too young or too cool....)

[OldMike]

But you're there as his lover and the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with! You're not there as the cook, the cleaner, the teacher, the bottlewasher, etc etc etc It's more than ok for you to leave the hoovering or something or buy in things. You are amazing and you are superwoman, but love you contribute far more than the worth of money....... You're his lobster (and yes I've just realised you probably don't get the reference because you're either too young or too cool....)

I don't get the lobster reference either probably 'cause I'm too young and cool

Jaq listen to Suzi because you know she's right.

[Suzi]

Lobster reference for those too young and cool...

[Paula]

How can anyone be too cool for Friends???

Jaq, do you think that I contribute less to my household because I can’t contribute financially and Si is the one who works? Si has never thought that - because we are a partnership, everything is ‘ours’ not his. He loves me and we both know that we’re in this together. And I believe that’s how a relationship should be