Worried about dosage incr *SU/AB Trigger*

[rami]

Yeah my best friend of 10 years was a girl but we had a falling out and my best friend now is a bloke!

Going back to the topic, I have this gut feeling that I will see/get in touch with Joe again. I have a feeling that it's not quite over. Now that doesnt mean i'll immediately run back to him but I will be willing to give things a go. Is that my hidden hope talking or should I not ignore this itching/nagging feeling I have? I never had this feeling with any of my previous (actual) relationships. What do you guys think?

Any thoughts are welcome!

[Paula]

Do you think it’s been made harder by the lockdown and not having the social life you’re used to?

[rami]

Thanks for sharing that with me, I'm so glad that you are able to manage your disability better now I wasn't always like this, before this year, I had hope and I have been through a tonne of difficult situations. 9 years of bullying, issues with my dad, strict parents, rejection from guys, sexual assault, falling out with a best friend of 10 years, skin condition (lifelong), was first love who ended up getting depression, being made redundant from first job out of uni etc. these are the most painful things I have been through but there was one thing that always stuck with me and that was hope. I was able to hold onto hope even after my heart was broken from my first love and yet, I'm sat here with nothing but hesitation for the future. The depression has really screwed me up. Somedays I feel like I will stuck in this voide forever.

[Paula]

Oh hunni, I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with all that

I’ve added an additional trigger warning to your thread, just to make sure anyone who want to avoid those discussions

[rami]

Yeah and youre right! But it's hard to not be carried away by my fear of the future. Especially when I dont have much hope to hold onto

[Paula]

There’s always hope. Just a little bit about me - over 7 years ago I had a fall which led to life changing injuries. Until last summer, I was getting worse and worse and more disabled year on year and I didn’t believe there was hope of any improvement. In August last year, I went on a residential pain management programme that literally changed my life. I am still disabled but am managing a thousand times better, and have been able to get my life back. If you’d have told me a year ago that this would happen, I would not have believed you, no one would.

There is always hope

[rami]

Well thank you for support. your experience does re-assure me

[Suzi]

Playing devils advocate... Men don't tend to talk openly about their feelings - be they positive or negative... They also seem to have a "male pride" thing of having to be able to provide etc etc.... Sweetheart if you still feel like that then tell him... At least you'd know one way or another...

[Suzi]

Lol, I have lots of male friends who are just that! Be that friend, let him know you're there for him and see what happens. Maybe nothing, maybe something...

[rami]

I know I'm looking too far into the future but when it comes down to it, I try to take things day by day. I dont think it's wrong to worry about the future but it certainly doesnt help. The way I think is that if I know what the future holds, I can either keeping going today or give up everything. Most people keep moving forward cause they have hope. I have very little of that at the moment. It's hard to trust that things will be fine