Thank you all I met this amazing guy last year and my life was never the same after that. He's caring, thoughtful, sweet, funny, very smart and super cute. I actually met him at work and spent six months working next to him and he helped me improve my skills so much. But when I was made redundant, we got the chance to see each other. We had some great memories, cooked together, movies, lots of fun dates. And everything was going so well for the next couple of months and then suddenly, he lost his job. He went on a holiday to new zealand for a month to escape everything and i decided to tell him how I feel when he came back. Whilst dealing panic attacks and anxiety as I didnt know what was going to happen between us. He came back and I told him how I felt and he said he felt the same way but we wouldnt be able to go any further since he had to move back to Hertfordshire with his parents until he sorts his life out. Now oxford o herforshire takes 1.5 hours and I didnt think it was impossible. We both drove and had cars and we were mature enough to make things work but he didnt think it would work out and that it would end bad since cause years and years ago, he was with someone for 3 years and when they had to make it long distance, things fell apart. So he thought he could predict the future and sad things will end badly. Whereas, I thought that things could still fall apart if you were with someone who lived 5 mins away from you. I tried to give him options but he didn't think it would work and I had no option but to let him go. We spent one last weekend together and that was it. We didnt pour our hearts out, we didn't really say goodbye but I let his flat knowing that was the last i'd see him and I immediately went into grieving. I hated myself, I hated everyone else and I wanted to ruin the happiness of others as I didn't think it was fair, because life wasn't fair to me. I never had to chance to tell him I loved him. It was been hell since that weekend.