I want to die **SH SU TRIGGERS**

[Stella180]

What you have just described is pretty much how I have felt for a very long time, I’m a useless waste of space who doesn’t fit in and only makes trouble for the people I love and maybe they would all be better off if I wasn’t around. Everything is totally overwhelming and I’m not strong enough to fight it. I’m not the only one who can relate on this forum as we’ve all experienced similar thoughts and feelings. I wish there was a magic potion we could take to make it all better but it doesn’t work that. What I have learned over time is that the twisted view I have due to this illness is nothing like how others see me, I’m not a burden, or a waste of space and I am stronger than I believe and I’d bet my mortgage on the fact that your loved ones would tell you the same. This illness beats you down and tries to turn your own mind against you but you have to fight it. Reaching out to this random bunch of strangers is cyber space and bearing your feeling and darkest thoughts is incredibly brave and the first step to beating this. If you can share something so intimate with us, I suggest you book in to speak with your doctor and let them know how you’re feeling. You won’t be judged and it won’t be the first time they’ve heard it, but they will be able to help you and start you on a treatment program whether that be medication, talking therapies or a combination of both. Keep talking to us, contact your doctor and try to talk to your family if you can. The more love and support you have the better.