That sounds like a plan. 2 hours at in one is tough on the fingers, let alone the concentration!!
That sounds like a plan. 2 hours at in one is tough on the fingers, let alone the concentration!!
Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!
Ok I’m gonna open up a little here. I’m confused. I’m struggling but this time it’s different and I can’t get my head around it. I don’t know how exactly to put it into words but I’ll try.
I’ve been in some pretty dark places in the past. Scary places I never wanna go again. I’ve felt so low that all I couldn’t even lift my head off the pillow. I don’t have to tell you guys what it’s like, but what I’m feeling now is completely different but at the same time so much is familiar and I think it’s because lockdown is allowing me to be this way. I don’t wanna get up in the mornings, personal hygiene has gone out the window, I’m eating so much more not cos I’m hungry but just cos it’s there. I’m living in a cesspit and tomorrow I have to do the washing up cos I’ve run out of stuff to eat off. I’m spending most of my time in my bedroom and I just feel...well I don’t know how I feel. I have nowhere to go, not gonna see anyone, couldn’t have someone in my house if I wanted to and because there is no pressure and no outside influences to make me feel bad about these things I guess I don’t really care. I’m “being kind to myself” by not beating myself up over this stuff. “It’s ok to not be ok”, “we’re all in it together” blah blah blah. I’ve lost all of my motivation. I have realised that on the whole if I don’t contact others, they don’t even thing about me, and that’s fine. I’m obviously way down on their list of priorities. What is missing are the feelings of guilt, hurt, disappointment, loss, embarrassment etc cos thanks to lockdown none of it matters anymore. I’m not in self destruct mode cos the world is already in astate and what will be will be.
This doesn’t feel like a depressive episode. For example, this morning I got up with the intention of having a shower. I used the toilet first and that feeling you get in your gut was there. The one that says “I really can’t face taking a shower right now, it’s to much and I can’t do it”. So I didn’t. I went back to bed and that was it. Done. Problem solved. It didn’t matter. I avoid the thing causing anxiety and it went away. I tried picking the guitar up yesterday and couldn’t get anything right so I gave up and walked away. Problem solved again. Does any of this make sense? It’s like I’m in limbo. No mans land. It’s weird in a creepy way.
Flo (15-05-20)
It sounds fairly normal (or the new normal) to me. I’d bet that the vast majority of people in this country are feeling roughly the same. What we’re all dealing with is difficult and just plain weird. None of us have the skills to deal with this.
My one question, though, is are you able to get out for a walk regularly?
The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.
Flo (15-05-20)
I’m able to in theory but It’s not happened since the weekend cos Talia hasn’t been great.
I’m up, medicated (so is Talia), and showered!!! I admit singing along to a bit of MJ helped, pretty sure the neighbours wouldn’t agree lol. Just need to work on getting dressed now but instead I’m just chilling out and enjoying the tunes but I’ll get there. Plan is to get the washing up done which is pretty desperate, get a bit of guitar practice in cos I wanna play with my new toy, clean the birds out, and if I feel up to it maybe a long walk with Talia, although I think there is more chance of that happening tomorrow and she will have to settle for a shorter walk today.
Fab! Proud of you-.gif ")")
The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.
You can be proud of me what I actually complete the tasks I’ve set myself. Making a plan is one thing. Achieving it is something else.
You've already achieved something by showering so well done. You've got a plan..... well done. Keep going. Pacing is good
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I think Paula's right - it's definitely a "new normal" kind of thing... It doesn't make it easier when you're constantly trying to fight to actually get out to now be told not to....
Well done for showering! Maybe a short walk would be better for Talia as she was poorly?
Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!
I disagree - I know even making a plan when you’re struggling is bloody hardOriginally Posted by Stella180
The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.
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