Hi

And again thanks for the posts. Not been up home this weekend as was up there last weekend and siblings have been in to see him regularly. He's feeling better apparently but my mum who is at home alone now and 84 not great either with a terrible chesty cough she seems to have had for over a month. Also not eating properly and very down - tbh I think she could do with some Ads but she would never go to the docs for them I don't think, may talk to her about it next time we're face to face.

Meds upped for 4 days now and moods (and stomach) all over the place. Really feeling isolated and a bit scared abt what is going on in my head. Mostly very down. Just got back from a family thing pre xmas with the wife's folks and cousins etc and their kids and I really struggled not to run for the car and head off - felt so uncomfortable and wanted so badly not to be there. We got a couple of kittens on Fri after losing our cat about 7 weeks ago and despite the fact that they are extremely cute (what kittens aren't?) I just don't feel connected to them. Its horrible not to feel compassion for a lovely defenceless animal that you hope is going to be part of your life for a long time.

The only part of the day I enjoy is the feeling of getting into bed at night and knowing another one is done. Dim lights and a book are abt all I can enjoy. All feels so out of step with whats going on everywhere with xmas and the ideal families being thrust down your throat at every commercial. Plus feel like a complete grouch for feeling that way - so miserable and guilty for feeling miserable.

Thanks again, not sure if anyone feels the same way right now but I do know that some people on this board def have or do and that's such a relief