Help needed

[chris61]

Been a couple of weeks and happy to say that the upping of the dose seems to at last have kicked in and levelled things out a bit. The total darkness has lifted at last. Wish I had come on here first and taken some advice from people who know about the way I was attempting to change the dosage with the pill cutter. Might have been better to just up the dose full stop and not do it gradually.

Sadly on Christmas Eve heard from the hospital where my dad was being treated that he passed away in the middle of the night. It was a really big shock as I had been up to see him the fri/sat before and he seemed v much better and on the mend. Not sure I am dealing with the grief too well, after the initial tears there has been little crying since. Also my mum was released from the same hospital on the same day and isn't too good either. Very frail and having waterworks problems. Was up there taking care of her til 28th and going back up tmrw til Saturday (siblings been helping out to). The first night she was back in her home she had a fall getting out of bed at 3 in the morning and I needed to get up and try and help her up as she couldn't get up on her own. Not sure what might have happened if no one had been there.

Obviously also now worrying abt sinking back into the black. I loved my dad but just don't seem to be able to connect with the sadness and I worry that the suppressing of emotions and not being able to register/manifest them in a 'normal' way is what is behind my bouts of depression

Not sure why i'm writing this but, ridiculous as it might sound, just wondered if anyone had any thoughts?

As always, grateful for the help