Some advice needed

[ritual93]

Hi there. Welcome here. There are a lot of us here that suffer from depression and other issues.

I read your post and you seem like a stand up guy and you are already doing the best you can. The thing is that we all react differently to depression. Mental health in that way can not be compaired to lets say a broken leg.

I can not tell you what the right thing to do is. But I think that you are doing it right already. The thing is that depression can cause us to push people away. But if you are talking that is good. But do try not to pressure anything. You can be there for her. But doing something about how she is doing has to start within herself. That goes for the depression and the eating as well. And then you can help her.

Great stuff... I just want to make sure I'm doing good by keeping contact with her, or if I should just completely stop talking to her and let her come to me. I've personally never had depression, but since speaking to her etc I have done SO much research on it! I've visited countless websites, read countless posts from people that have experienced it, and people that are going through it or helping people get through it etc.

[Mira]

That is so conciderate.

I think that if she wanted you to stop talking she would say that. Or not reply. From what you posted so far I think if you are being you thats more then good enough and otherwise go with what se is saying. Because like I said we all react in different ways.

[ritual93]

I'm just not sure if I should tell her that she can trust me, and that I have no motive and I'm here for her as a friend (as I've not told her this yet) or just carry on as I am and just checking in on her and letting her know I'm here etc.

Thanks

[Suzi]

To be fair, chances are she's been told that someone will be there for her and letting her down before. It's not easy to be the partner of someone with depression when they are trying to push you away....

[ritual93]

Yep, I figured that has probably happened.. I was thinking about just sending her some flowers, nothing spectacular just a little gesture.. As actions do speak louder than words, but I've been in two minds about that as I'm not sure if that would make her feel worse/guilty or if it would be a good thing to do

[Suzi]

Sending flowers is a lovely gesture, I'd accompany it with a text stating no strings etc... Have you seen her since this has been a problem?

[Paula]

Flowers are always welcome

[ritual93]

Thanks all, you've been a great help

[ritual93]

Sending flowers is a lovely gesture, I'd accompany it with a text stating no strings etc... Have you seen her since this has been a problem?

Just to answer your question... I haven't seen her since, I don't think it would be a good idea to just show up, as much as I would like to? I did say we could go out to the cinema or even just for a walk one time whenever she felt up for it, no pressure.

Thanks

[Suzi]

So glad!