That sounds like you take them sometimes but not consistently. That will certainly not be helping your mood as you'll be feeling the effects. I know how crap I felt everytime I switched meds.

You say a lack of motivation to want to get better yet you signed up here. Sounds pretty motivated to me support is a major help in getting better. Having people understand because they've been there themselves makes a huge difference, I know it does to me. My partner can always tell if I've forgotten meds or even just having a bad day. Do you talk to your girlfriend about how you're feeling?