Hi and welcome to the group. I'm so sorry you're feeling so rubbish. I know you don't see much point in it right now, but please, please, please don't take steps to hurt yourself or worse. Things can and will change.
Jaq is right, please get an appointment to talk to your Dr and tell them how bad you are feeling. Explain that you are looking up ways to end your life. You need access to something like a crisis line as well as some support - be that with your GP, a mental health team, medication/counselling etc...