...continued
As I said your husband's condition seems far worse so it feels funny for me to complain. I just can't forgive myself for being such a up (we are our own worst critics after all) seeing all the people that I know getting married, having a really successful job and enjoying life while I have the feeling that no mater what I do happiness was just not meant for me. I've been wanting a change for years but even going to sleep is a struggle. I often roll in bed for hours.