Hi Andrea, thanks for responding.Originally Posted by AAndrea
And thanks for the compliments. I am not that smart--I spent all of my years at uni studying and studying trying to at least pass due to having too much courseload. Yes, I can say that I have a bunch of STEM degrees, plus speak around five languages to CEFR C1/C2 level, and a few more to CEFR B1/B2 level, but somehow this is not much consolation for my situation. I am glad that I have these accomplishments, both academically and in activities such as competitive chess...I can do all of these things, but I feel like I do not attract women. As if whatever talent I had went very unevenly to academics and none to social/romantic skills.
You are 22, that is almost eight years younger than I am. What I can say is that a male approaching age 30 being a virgin is quite depressing. I am clearly not young again like you are in your early twenties.
I completely understand the feeling of missing out, because I went through the same thing at age 22. At least you are younger. At my age I find that there is a lot of taboo about being in this situation. As I replied to Jaquaia above, many family members make derogatory comments about me because they have never seen any of my girlfriends. They tell my mother that I am a weirdo, and insinuate that I am asexual. Their mentality is that people who are single that long are doing so deliberately; they want to be single. They do not know that I am in this situation despite not wanting to be.
In the country where I live, there definitely are a large minority of women who remain virgins for long. It is usually because they are very religious and/or practise abstinence. But I can understand your feeling of being a virgin at 22.
It is true that people find love in very random places, in their 30s, 40s, etc. The thing is that many of these older people had already had several relationships before as well.
I am not sure how the dating dynamic is in London. I lived for a bit in Newcastle and Manchester. In both places I felt that people were less judgemental than where I currently live in San Francisco, USA.
Over the years here, men have called me weird, asexual and other names. Women have called me ugly and that I "look like a virgin". Maybe I give off a strange vibe, who knows.
I feel as if I am stuck in a rut. I understand your feeling about when people ask when you are getting married. Virtually every adult family member has asked me the same thing, as well as other related questions. It seems like they want to make me feel worse if anything. The media certaintly do not help, in fact it seems like they encourage ridiculing virgins and single people.
To say that I feel terrible is an understatement.
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