Hi and welcome. I've added a trigger warning as you mention suicide. It's nothing to worry about, it's just so people can avoid your thread if it would trigger them.
The first point I want to make is it doesn't matter if people have had it much worse than you. If it affects you than it's important. I can't remember the exact words but I saw a great analogy on fb of all places! It was basically saying that we shouldn't compare suffering, that some people have paper plates and some have ceramic and those with paper plates can't carry as much as those with ceramic. It made a lot of sense to me. Suffering is very personal and what some can cope with, others can't and that's ok.
Have you seen a doctor about how you're feeling? They can signpost you to services that could help. Maybe contact Mind or Andy's Man Club if you have those locally. There's also Recovery College, they often do courses to help with things like self-esteem.
For what it's worth, I'm 35, and although I have a degree, I don't work because of how ill I got. With the right help, I'm only just getting my life how I want it. I've started driving lessons and I've gone back to uni to start retraining. In just over a week I start doing my practical qualifications. It's not how I imagined my life but I have adapted and it's how I will live it now. My driving instructor has a brilliant way of putting it. "We can get to Bridlington a couple of different ways. It doesn't matter how we get there as long as we get there".
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