Hi and welcome to DWD. As the wife to someone with depression, anxiety, panic attacks and social phobia I completely relate! I was told once that actually I have to put me first and take care of me or I wouldn't be able to look after him. It's simple, but true.
When did you last get a break? When did you and he last do something fun together? When did you last laugh?

Why doesn't he want to go to the Drs? It's the first stepping stone to getting help on the NHS...