When I was going to the groups I was at the open university and doing my course from home but I was hating it because as persons with depression it was making me feel utterly useless and sluggish. But I need that human support that I wasn’t getting. So I tried these groups and it was just depressing me further and I was running from one depressing situation into another. So I am very positive and glad that I have left and actually one less problem to deal with.

I also realised going was actually counterproductive, I was actually among the day of going to chip shop because I was rejected for so long and the group was boring my head off.
They have all been the same

Futures in mind welcome cafe : let’s sit and have chatter about weather, talk mindless in quiet empty library with no music no licences and coffee/ tea that taste like cats . Reaction zzzzzzzz get me out of here!

Sainsburys meet up: they rarely turned up and when they did there was no conversation and it was bunch of people sitting one, reading the newspapers saying one or two words. Yawn zzzzz get me out of here. Laura still turns up and bitch from hell

Mental health group.: Laura turns up and take mindless about shopping bags, recycling and her montone voice is making me wanna sleep. It's too claustrophobic that doesn't suit my anxiety in room with 20 people that's no bigger than the size of box room my downstairs bog is large and the meaningless of the people, plus the plans of meet ups and no one turns up. So it and wait in the cold and waiting and is has just wasted my energy getting there because of anxiety. Is this person gonna turn up and my anxiety is building to point of exhaustion. I am already in a lot pain due to fibromyalgia and scoloisis and when I get home all I wanna do for the next few days is mentally and physically recover.

So now I am like, I don't want to do this anymore, binge eating, the crying because some ass has just wasted my time and starting to prefer a really introverted indoorsy. I have other things that more production and I want to get done. I feel that when I am at physical uni I have enough stuff on my plate to deal with and the anxiety of meeting people is very diffeernt..i also have genuine mental health feeling of stress and anxiety with conditions. Whereas. When I was job seeker j never felt that what I did was good enough and it never overwhelming in a genuine way.

So I am glad that it doesn't apply to me for while as I am signed off due Fibromylgia.and scoliosis but eventually I will get into he working world but with conditions in place and I am following my dreams of studying social work.

Since being diagnosed with depression (the condition/illness) with the symptoms I have never wanted to be slob in bed, regardless of the situation, whether I am able.to work and work, struggling to cope with or unable to work.
I rarely see my bed until 11 of 12 at night. I ensure that bed is made if when I am a dark place and feeling low.
I have things that I do every day in my house, while at the uni and I have coping mechanisms like music using do not disturb and banking the groups.

I don't have ”i am friendless, ” the dwells I used have when.peollw have messed me about and cycles of binge eating.