Hi and welcome. I am so sorry for your loss, and for all that’s happened since. You’ve been through the mill. No, you’re not a bad person, you’re just someone whose had an awful weight on your shoulders and not had help in dealing with it. Well done for seeking support, that’s a huge step to take, and a difficult one. As for your ex, it is really hard to support a partner with MH issues and it can be very painful for them, but someone who truly cares for you won’t act as they have ....