I really need to stop going on Facebook & looking how amazing everyone's life is compared to mine, I don't know why I do this myself!. There's people I've known who were not very pleasant yet have the most amazing social life. They have a family & everything & have a congregate of people to celebrate their new born baby or whatever. That kind of life is completely alien to me. I can't help but envy it because I've always struggled to even leave my room. I'm ashamed of my lack of independence
.. Even on the meetups I've been going to, they all have a car, been married etc. I'm 29 & I'm so far behind on social development it's a joke. A mean I can't even tie my own shoelaces ffs! Or even use the washing machine..
When I tell people this it startles them. And they don't understand why I've never had a relationship considering I'm respectful, not bad looking & can articulate myself well. But that's the price I've paid for being a recluse. Like Jaq touched on I def need to see another counselor because it's a mountain of insecurities that medication won't resolve. I'm never content at all. I just want to know what it feels like to be loved..
