Thanks for the advice, I do refer back to your posts to remind me what I need to do. Today I was booked on for training on the 11th, 15th & 18th July for youth work volunteering & I also got accepted for the samaritan role. I'm excited for the youth work role but not really about being a samaritan as I'm worried how I'd deal with a suicide in progress. But they've also booked me on for some training. I know that I won't be paid for any of this but it'll help to break up the week & give me some kind of routine as well as interaction.
I'm aware that I'm going round in circles, I guess this forum just gives me an outlet that I can turn to. I've been waiting a while for more counselling so I guess this forum serves as a therapy in a way. I know theres many others who can relate to me so my intention is also to help them by sharing my struggles. Today my controlling brother antagonized me for simply going straight to the garden upon coming downstairs. He was like "WHY ARE YOU GOING OUTSIDE FOR, THERES NO SMOKE IN HERE I THINK YOURIN AIR PURIFIER HAS GONE TO YOUR HEAD". He has this presence about him that has always made me very uncomfortable. The way he speaks it's always menacing. He belittles me because he knows of my confidence issues. As long as I'm in this house my mental health won't improve & it's not easy to simply up & move sticks
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