Firstly, you should never use google to diagnose. You aren't medically trained, I have symptoms of bipolar type 2 at times according to google, I have symptoms of PTSD too, but I'm not medically trained so I couldn't possibly diagnose myself. Using google, fairly innocuous things can indicate cancer or other serious things when it's could be something straightforward. Your doctor is medically trained, but it's also worth pointing out that a GP is trained in many areas whereas a specialist is trained to a much higher level in one area. They may have a special interest but their knowledge isn't to the degree of a specialist. Their hands are pretty much tied to talking therapies or medication I'm afraid.
It's also worth pointing out that medication is proven to work, medication has to go through extensive trials before it is licensed to be used. There are thresholds that have to be met before these drugs can be generally prescribed. So that being said, please be mindful of your language when talking about antidepressants. Many of us on here are only still here because of medication, I know I am. A year ago I was suicidal, now I'm not. The only difference is my medication changed. Comparing being prescribed antidepressants as treating us like lab rats is not very respectful. For many of us on here, medication is what allows us to function and actually have some semblance of a life. It's possible that if you tried one that you haven't tried already, it may actually work, with fewer side effects, and may not be something you need long term. Medication can work and we will always point that out. That being said, we will respect your choice not to take antidepressants. There are other options.
There is some research that suggests CBD oil, and even turmeric, can have antidepressant qualities. St John's Wart is another one. All natural remedies but something you will need to do a lot of research on yourself and I would advise seeking a medical opinion. The other option is talking therapies, but these only work when you engage in them fully. Have you tried counselling or CBT? What about some of the courses the recovert academy run? Would you be willing to try some of those? You may find that some of their courses will help you manage your anxiety and improve your confidence levels. You could contact your local Mind and see what help they can offer. They often run support groups or courses. There are apps or videos on youtube that help with mindfulness or meditation.
I think a starting point would be meditation or mindfulness, something to try and get your anxiety under control. Maybe look at those courses too. Sometimes we need to do things step by step.
It's a case of thinking about what you want to change and then trying to figure out how to change it itms?
