I was somewhat hopeful today after chatting to a girl on snapchat & having a positive conversation but once again my mood comes crashin down.. My uncle loves to make fun how I'm 30 this year & have done nothin with my life except waste away in my room. I get on with him a lot but not when he laughs at me. I don't need reminding that I've wasted my life. Me & him are very alike in regards to how reclusive we are. He collects toys so he's not your conventional kind of guy. I prefer him to my brother put it that way. For years I've felt trapped living with my brother who is controlling & a loudmouth chav.
If I were to move out it'd allow me to finally stand on my own 2 feet, not rely on my mum & be free from his obnoxious presence. People don't realise the effect their words have on me. I'm extremely vulnerable & my despair is triggered very easily. They'll be sorry if they find me 1 day without a pulse. That isn't being flippant btw, I'm serious, it's always a possibility because I really have nothing to lose. My life has been ain waste & the last 30 years is evidence I'll never feel normal. Why continue based on that evidence of relentless misery & loneliness?. I'd rather be long gone from this miserable existence before I'm in a care home wandering "what if?"
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