Hi and welcome to DWD. I need to be honest here and apologise if I upset you. I’ve suffered with depression for 30 years and, in all that time, have never and would never treat anyone like your brother is treating you and your family. Having mental health issues does not give anyone the right to behave like your brother is. I assure you that 99.9% of people I’ve met over the years who struggle with depression are concerned about the impact on their family, which clearly your brother isn’t. And you have a wife and young children. They need to be your focus and your brother is taking that focus away from your family.
As far as work is concerned, it’s obviously a decision you and your father need to make and no one here should be giving you any advice on what to do. All I can say is that he’s an adult and should be responsible for his own life. I have a 21 yo daughter who went through issues with her work a few months ago. Although we talked about her options and I supported her, the decisions she made were hers to make alone. It meant resigning without a job to go too but she did it, knowing it was the right decision for her and she worked hard at getting a new job, that she loves. All the way through, she took responsibility for her own life.