Honestly? I'm struggling. I've tried to ignore it as I'm not suicidal and I haven't felt like self-harming, but I'm struggling. I feel so numb and empty a lot of the time lately, incredibly lethargic. It's rare I'm asleep much past 7 and I'm often awake during the night, I'm struggling to focus on anything, and for the last few days I've been back on the propranolol as I'm highly agitated and anxious. I'm really irritable, hating being around the vast majority of people, and even being spoken to is a struggle most days. And to top that off, I had a bit of a moment today. Apart from being very insecure, we went for lunch in town and J pulled someone up who pushed in front of me at the cash machine. The guy reacted pretty aggressively and it triggered me massively as it reminded me of dickhead. I was almost in tears in the street, struggled to speak, and it took me an age to make eye contact with J again. He said my reaction surprised him.
So it's been fun...
