Hi Fred and welcome to DWD!
Sounds like things are really hard for you right now. Why do you think you are going to lose your relationship?
If you are struggling to feed yourself then you know you can access a foodbank I hope?
WRT your job... To get proper help would mean seeing your GP and working through things with them and any other counselling or therapies that they suggest - for them there will be a wait, and it could be a long one.
You could try medication? It saved my husband's life and definitely not something I would suggest you rule out completely. With regard to it being on your medical notes - I can see that you don't want "the label," but as long as you are following the advice of your GP/therapist/support then it shouldn't be a factor for any employer.