i had my third session of cbt yesterday.
i went in more engaging and feeling a little more positive to tell her how I had been and what i had been doing that improved my mood.
sort of feel like that was just dismissed, I went to london that was out of my comfort zone and I got an understanding of the more I do out of my comfort zone the easier things will get to do but hardly talked about it.
I feel like I have been pressured/bullied into doing this job course.
I would like to do it, but not at the moment as I am going away towards the end of the month, then again in mid MAY and again in early JUNE. ALL for a week and I feel that they would not appreciate doing a week missing a week doing 2 weeks missing a week etc.
I feel because of this it has made me depressed again as well as anxious.
I KNOW SHE WANTS ME TO FEEL ANXIOUS AND DO THINGS OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE TO FIND A REASON BEHIND SOME OF IT. BUT most of the time it is just a feeling in my stomach.
I probably am anxious about this course because after I left school I went to college then did another 2 terms somewhere else. But quit, due to the course changing. I struggled to find work over the years, I got a few zero hour contracts but was never used or trained. Did some volunteer work last year. The other thing was that I had been unwell as well.-2013 ish I had a constant headache for like 6 months, some days I could not get out of bed because it was that bad. saw the gp but could not find anything. 2017-2018 I had something wrong with my stomach that affected me for around 6-8months. I could not bend without being in pain, somedays I could not eat without vomiting . Plus throughout that depression and anxiety. I KNOW WHEN I HAD MY FIRST ANXIETY ATTACK IT TOOK ME over a year to get back to some normality.
I did make my own business on ebay selling anything, but mainly toys. WHICH I AM STILL DOING, recently I have just completed a cleaning course in which I got a distinction in.