I think COVID restrictions made everything a bit difficult for me. Of course, it has had an impact more or less on everyone's mental health, not only on mine.

I think that is general fear of loneliness and death too...There is already some good news about vaccines, so maybe 2021 will be slightly better.

He has one more daughter from another marriage who he left too. I have never met my half-sister. So he has not been too much involved in her education either. He told me I am his only heir, I can get she lives very far away near China border and that is hard to travel. But the real reason is that she is married (from what I have been told, without children). So I am afraid I am a good candidate because of this.

But I am TIRED of all last devastating and heartbreaking years. When I told him by accident I had a male penpal, he was upset about it and moaned that he thought I was going to be with him. I am afraid he just wants to play on my feelings and flat tricks.A dad is supposed to be a close person, but not really in this case.
My gut feeling says no for permanent living, just for a temporary stay in the best case. I don't see myself permanently living in Latvia, maybe I am wrong, but that is my gut feeling.