You do not need to punish yourself or stop yourself from eating. This self destructive and self harming behaviour is really concerning me lovely. My heart aches for the sadness in you. All I want to do is hug you and show you that you are wanted, loved and respected.
Will you please get a Drs appointment asap? If you wont do it for you, would you do it for us? Go and tell them everything - esp the self harm, the binging and purging?
