The lonelyness on the weekends is terrible. Since most of my friends dont talk to me anymore nobody comes around for a visit. And because of how I am I had to stop being online as much. I have given it a lot of thought and I am not capable of doing online things in a chat inviroment. I do get weird and i alienate people.
At least during the week I talk with people at work and then its way more easy to act normal. But online its harder. I had to stop online gaming. And I stopped with the chatgroup. One man from America is coming to the Netherlands this month. And we had been talking for more then a year. He asked to meet. But we don't even talk anymore. So I messed that up as well.

So what to do? If the best thing for everybody else is to stay home and be alone but its horrible for myself? I hate this. And the thoughts that come with it.