Well this wont sound logical. I can even see that myself. But I guess thats what the disorder does to me.
It will go great for a while. But online it seems much easier to talk about whats going on with yourself. Even more so with people that have the same issues. But then I feel like a bother to people. And I can get whingy. So then I stop talking to people so they dont have to deal with somebody difficult. I am just so worried that people wont like me that i break it off before that time. But thats hurting me. And leaves me alone.
Even when people are reasuring me that things are fine. I cant believe it. It leaves me spiraling.....
When i am doing ok and look at what i do i go oh boy. Why? And i can see it clearly. But i get into a state pretty easy and then its all out the window.
When i am at work or in public its a bit more easy because then i know people dont like me so i can be silent and calm.
Sorry for going on and on.
