Me, part 673 *TRIGGERS*

[Jaquaia]

Whether you feel like it or not, it is your home and will be so for some time yet. Therefore, you need to make it as comfortable for yourself as possible. Or, quite frankly, you need to push J for you two to move in together sooner. Leaving things as they are is detrimental to your mental health.

No. It's a house I live in. A home is very different to me. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents but I'm often on edge here. My mum still has a habit of treating me like a child at times, I can't always cope with my dads drinking, and I often wish I was anywhere but here. To me, a home is where you can relax and shut out the world for a bit. I can't do that here and haven't been able to for a long time. I won't be moving in with J until the children are ok with that so I just need to make the best of things. Starting to get out of the house more should help with that.

[Suzi]

I was thinking of suggesting a lock too... Not sure how you'd bring that up in conversation though...

[Jaquaia]

They won't agree to a lock

[Suzi]

Door under the door handle?

or a subtle

" off it's my room" sign?

[Angie]

Jay's dad used to do this to Caitlin just walk in start reading her messages, it stopped when I told Jay that he puts a lock on the door or she doesn't go at all, he put a lock on the door his dad massively kicked off about it and was told he stops or he moves out, if she doesn't lock her door he will still just walk in so its perm locked when shes there.
I always knock or shout the kids and never go in their rooms unless they respond

[Suzi]

I can't agree with Paula strongly enough.

[Suzi]

I totally know what you mean. This is the first place which I have called home and meant it. I promise it will happen for you love... It took me a long time, but I wouldn't appreciate it nearly as much as I do... I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it happen for you today....

[Jaquaia]

I really think he's worth it so I will find a way to make this work. I have my levels 1 and 2 in counselling this year which will get me out of the house and meeting new people one night a week. That will keep me busy and will distract me. Contemplating going full time with uni next year and I'll be doing my level 3. Plus if I sign up to the SCONUL scheme, I can spend a couple of days working in Hull Uni's library. Though wondering at the wisdom of doing my final project year full time and my level 4... Maybe it will distract me from the fact that I'll never be a mum too if I keep busy. I want to do a MSc in Mental Health Science and I've seen a fab PhD course in Mental Health at Lancaster Uni. Distance learning with a few weekend/week long academies. I've seen courses in psychotherapy and gestalt therapy. My future is something I can start planning for. My living situation I just have to do my best with.

[Suzi]

You are awesome love... I'm so proud to call you a friend.

[Jaquaia]

I don't think I do anything particularly special.

I've just googled my glasses prescription. I'm officially severely myopic. I knew it was bad when they pointed out they'd moved me up a voucher band...