I saw the home treatment team yesterday, it's a different person every time, she wasn't very understanding, she said why did I need antidepressants and why do I need diazepam, I told her I need someone professional to talk to, she said not until I'm stable, they were meant to take my blood pressure but over the weekend none of them did, she told me to go see my to, I just haven't got the strength to go out, I'm crying all the time,I don't want to sit in the surgery with people looking at me crying. I have just rung the doctors and got a appointment for 11.50 today, I'm so terrifed they are going to put me in hospital, my mum's in a care home and relies upon me to do her cooking because she don't like the meals, I feel so guilty hate myself I just don't want to be here no more, I'm so sorry everyone I don't want to make yous feel depressed xxx