Have been very wiped today but have managed church this morning and this evening but had a 2hr nap in between.
The thing with enjoying something as simple as having a meal with people is that it can cost so much for The next day and the day after etc.
Learning what is worth the cost and what isn't is a big part of living with any chronic illness and I think I'm just beginning to understand that.
Sometimes I get so frustrated at the things I haven't the energy or headspace for. I used to be such a whirlwind and a real force of nature. I saw nothing in my way and nothing was a task too big. Accepting that life is different now has been hard and tbh I'm not exactly sure I have accepted it fully. However in accepting that this is how it is now I also need to hope that it won't always be like this. It might never be what it was again but I need to hold on to the hope that it wont always be what it is now.
I am learning to choose hope. The alternative is not that attractive.... I know I've been stuck there a long long time.