I haven’t been able to work for 15 years because of my mental health. I understand how you feel, I felt the same for a long time. But I’ve come to realise that my life is more than just a job, and that I am now able to give my energy to what matters in my life. You are working, and you’re also working in a way that helps you deal with your mental health and therefore will mean you too can give your energy to what is really important in your life, once you are stable - and you WILL be stable.