New and running out of options! *SU Trigger*

[dcalong]

I think I do the same thing, pushing people away without meaning to, at least it seems that way with the amount of people that just disappear from my life... And the overthinking thing, please let me know if you figure out how to stop doing that because it drives me mad!!

I really wish I could find a solution to the overthinking thing, after 10 years of feeling like this I finally connected with someone. It was my 14 year old cousin who is also going through depression and anxiety. We got on really well until something happened a few weeks ago (it usually happens at some point) and I think I've upset his mum so we don't talk now. I've spent the past three weeks trying to work out what it is but she's not replying to my text messages. It's a shame as he's the only person I've ever met in my life that felt the same way.

[CaterpillarGirl]

I really wish I could find a solution to the overthinking thing, after 10 years of feeling like this I finally connected with someone. It was my 14 year old cousin who is also going through depression and anxiety. We got on really well until something happened a few weeks ago (it usually happens at some point) and I think I've upset his mum so we don't talk now. I've spent the past three weeks trying to work out what it is but she's not replying to my text messages. It's a shame as he's the only person I've ever met in my life that felt the same way.

That really is a shame, it must have felt good to have someone to talk to that understood what you're going through, do you not have any way to contact your cousin directly instead of going through his mum?

[Justchris]

Hi,

Thank you for taking the time to read my post, I'll keep it simple and to the point.

There's a lot of history and information to go through but I'll stick to more recent events. Over the past couple of years my depression has got worse and little things are starting to affect me more than they should. I've been to ER with panic attacks thinking they were heart attacks, this has happened on a couple of occasions. I've been to my doctors and had CBT, with three different therapists with the final one saying that CBT isn't for me. I've previously spoken with a counsellor and made no progress. I somehow manage to push away people that I get close to, one way or another and it keeps happening. The only constant people in my life are my parents and I believe that's only because they don't really have a choice.

I'm at a loss and now in the stage of, I don't want to live but I don't want to die. I've thought about suicide but just can't go through with it.

Wow, what you said about suicide hits home, as does pushing people away. The others are right, do not be deterred by a doctor telling you that’s all folks, end of the line. You have to keep fighting on and pushing through. Your parents look out for you because you’re their baby and they love you, not because they have no choice. Trust me parents or not they have a choice and they’ve chosen to help you.