So Lonely.... Please somebody talk to me.

[Jeremy]

Oh I think I understand that feeling. I fear crying because it makes me feel I am drowning to that moment, that emotional vortex that sucks away everything I have and even am. It is terrifying. And fighting it makes things simply worse. But as empty as I feel afterwards, it somehow feels purifying as well. Or then I am just relieved I survived that emotional hell, and can finally calm down. It is funny how you know there is nothing bad or weak In crying, yet it feels like whole world would stop and stare. Hang In there. I am so happy to hear you feel better.

Yes I shut feelings down for literally years because I couldn’t face that drowning feeling. I think you described it as like drowning very well. That’s how it feels - like I am going to drown in my own tears. So when I decided to open my heart again and allow myself to feel it was overwhelming when I started to cry again. But I really don’t see any alternative as I have to take the risks or I’ll never grow and heal. My greatest fear is simply that people I know or get to know will be overwhelmed and put off by my moods and crankiness.

[Paula]

If they are, they’re not worth having in your life, lovely