Hi and welcome to DWD. I'm sorry you're struggling so much right now.
When was the last time you spoke to your GP about how you are feeling? I know you've already tried 2 anti d's which didn't work for you, but there are loads of different ones which work better for others - the problem is that it isn't an exact science finding what helps you best. I know my husband tried several before finding the fluoxetine helped him - then it came back and fluoxetine didn't help so now he's on Venlafexine which has been amazing for him!

You can get through this - it's not easy, but you can....