Paula's totally right. I am physically disabled and my husband has mental health illnesses and yes there are things our kids have missed out on, but they are now 17, 14 and 13 and I'm so amazingly proud of them. They are kind, empathetic and try to see the best in everyone.
Sweetheart there is no excuse for him being horrible to you or your children.
If you need to see a Dr about the way you are feeling then do that. It's not up to him whether you do or don't....