Magie.. My partner is going to the doctors tomorrow.. I do still love him.. I love him more than anything in this world.. But I just don't know what to do half the time and I can't bare that half the time he acts like I am the last person he wants to he near...

Paula.. I don't believe he's making it up.. I am the one that sees him sob and breakdown and I am trying my hardest to convince others that he's really that bad.. But then there are some people in my life saying things like "if he's so depressed why is he fine at paintball, just a bit quieter" or "if he's so depressed why is he going out with his friends".. And then I've got the same people saying "are you sure he's just not happy with you anymore and doesn't know how to say it" .. And that's so unbelievably upsetting to hear or even think.. Even he's own mother just says "he doesn't seem depressed to me, just quiet" but then he hasn't told his mother anything at all anyway...

OldMike... I completely agree.. I've never once allowed anyone to say he's making it up or believed he's making it up myself.. I just don't know what else to do anymore.. Especially when half the time it's me that he snaps at or is moody at...

Suzi.. The thing is some times (like last night) he says "Oh I am fed up" and I don't want to say anything because sometimes like you guys have said I just want to let him "be" without explanation.. And sometimes when I do ask I get confronted with "why do you think I am fed up" .. It's like I am torn in 3 places.. Don't ask and let him be.. Ask so he knows he can talk and that you care.. Or just ignore it entirely.. He hasn't gone to work all week which I've assured him is fine and we will manage if he needs time off.. But today he was due to go back and this morning he just text his boss saying he's head still messed up.. Again though I just don't know if I should ask anymore because I know sometimes he doesn't want to talk..

I don't know if I can do this time and time again.. I miss being the lover and the girlfriend.. Will I ever get to be that again if this is something that remains like this forever.. I just don't know.. I am truly scared...