I genuinely don't know.. Is this something that will mean I never get to have a family or get married to him because he doesn't want to have children when he's like this.. Will it mean I never feel loved again or have physical or emotional intimacy again..??

I don't want to walk away but will I ever have even days or weeks where I can have that relationship we had before back..? Is everyday going to be "what kind of mood is he in today" .. "should I plan to do this together today" .. "does he love me today" ..

Will there ever be days where we can forget his illness and move on or is every day going to be the same awful day..