Hi and welcome. I’ve added a trigger warning to your thread. It’s nothing to worry about but just ensures anyone who needs to avoid certain subjects, can.

I know when I’m very low my emotions are numbed and, though I know I love my husband very much, I can’t feel that love itms. It’s a coping mechanism but one that, with the mood swings, can put a huge strain on relationships. It can seem easier to push our loved ones away and, in our twisted thinking, seems as if that’s the best option for our loved ones.

That knowledge doesn’t make it any easier for our loved ones to deal with, I know, and in no way excuses anyone from behaving badly to the people we love. But I hope it helps you understand your partner a little bit more